Inochi Yori Chapter 9

Chapter 9- Regret and Guilt are very different things

No one spoke the entire way back to the Akane Resort. Lucy and Gray, the least injured of them, quickly packed their belongings and those of their group before all of them began to head back to Magnolia. On the train, Erza had passed out again a, Natsu for once wasn’t getting motion sick, likely because he was so exhausted that he passed out before the train left the station. Jellal stayed silent as he held Lilura in the same position as he had on the boat, sitting across the aisle from the Fairy Tail wizards.

Lucy looked over at him as he looked up for a moment to look out the window before looking back down at the woman in his lap. At that moment she stirred a little and smiled slightly, causing the blue haired man to give a soft sigh of relief still worried he may have hurt her permanently.  Lucy smiled at the sight and stood up, walking across the aisle. “Mind if I sit?” She asked with a kind smile. He looked slightly suspicious but nodded once, looking back down at Lilura.

“You love her don’t you?” Lucy asked. Jellal looked surprised and said “Why would you think that?” “The way you look at her, and appear so relieved when she shows a sign of being alive, you have feelings for her that are more than friendly.” He looked at Lilura and back at Lucy, “I wouldn’t know, like I told Salamander, she has saved my life so many times when she didn’t have to and if she was anyone else, wouldn’t have saved me.” He looked thoughtfully at Lilura then looked at Lucy and said “You know, some people think that Celestial wizards should be considered criminals. That they enslave the spirits they make contracts with.”

She looked horrified and said “No good Celestial wizard would do that!” He frowned and said “That’s not the point I’m trying to make. A contract involves both parties, the spirit and the wizard to have mutual consent and partnership. When Lilura and I first made our deal, almost 10 years ago, it wasn’t like with your spirits. She didn’t want to be there but didn’t have a choice because of her desire for Erza to be free. But as time went on, she and I began to understand each other more. I gave her more freedoms and wasn’t so harsh to her and she stopped acting so resentful towards me.” He said calmly, looking down at the woman he spoke of.

“We’ve come past that stage, now I’m not even sure how to explain my feelings; she risked her life to keep me safe and then sacrificed herself so that Erza, Salamander and I had a chance at escape. I owe her so much; there is no way I’ll ever be able to tell her how much she means to me.”

Lucy could see his eyes shining with unshed tears and smiled a little bit because of that. She reached across and put her hand on his shoulder “I think that you’re both pretty lucky to have found each other, no matter the circumstances behind it.” She smiled. He smiled a little back and she stood up, walking back to her seat as Gray and Happy woke up. The rest of the train ride was uneventful as well as the trip back to Magnolia from Onibus.

The group arrived at the now rebuilt Fairy Tail guild hall, taken aback by the elaborate look and over the top amenities. Mirajane was the first to notice the return of the team and ran to help Erza and Natsu. Lilura opened her eyes and looked around a little “Where are we?” She asked quietly, looking up at Jellal. “Getting help. You got hurt pretty bad you idiot, you could have easily died.” He said with a small smile. “For a while I thought you were gone to.” She said looking truly upset. He put his hand on her cheek and said “Don’t worry; it’ll take more than Salamander to kill me. I’m not giving up easily, not after you worked so hard to keep me alive.”

She smiled and fell back unconscious as the two strangers were noticed by the rest of the guild. “Don’t worry, they’re friends.” Erza said, her eyes meeting Jellal’s. Most of the wizards looked suspicious but Mira trusted Erza and offered to help Jellal, who refused but asked her to show him where the infirmary was.

All of the wizards involved had at least some minor injuries, or major ones in the case of Erza, Natsu, Jellal and Lilura. The latter two being the most injured of the four. It was silent as Jellal limped through the guild behind Mira, a few of the older members were confused as the man bore resemblance to one of the member of the Magic council, he could be his twin.

Is that where the strangers had come from? The news of the destruction of the magic councils building had spread quickly, so seeing a member of the council so injured made sense. From what they’d heard the whole building had crumbled in minutes and no one knew why.

Jellal laid Lilura gently on one of the cots before walking to one of the cabinets to search for bandages. Mira put a gentle hand on his shoulder, ignoring his reaction to flinch away. She gave him a kind smile and said “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. You should rest.” He frowned but nevertheless walked to the bed next to Lilura and sat at the edge of it.

Natsu and Erza came in soon after, the former collapsing on one of the cots and wincing in pain. Erza chuckled and sat down between Natsu and Jellal. Mira began to clean their wounds and wrap them in bandages, slightly intimidated by Jellal’s stare when she tended to Lilura. Mira administered a dose of magic painkiller to all four, though the dosage was much higher for the stranger. The last thing Jellal saw before he passed out was Master Makarov’s scrutinizing expression before his vision faded to black.

Jellal’s Dream

I was on my knees in the ruins of the Tower of Heaven, some chunks of debris still smoking around me. I stood up slowly and looked around regretfully. For some reason I felt compelled to explore the ruins and carefully began to venture over the massive pile of crystal and rock. In the center of the mass was a near perfect circle, the center of which was a large crystal. I approached the crystal and gently touched the surface. It surprisingly didn’t liquefy at the contact like he expected.

Suddenly a face faded into view and he gasped when it became Lilura. She looked disappointed and upset with him, her midnight hair floating around her as if she was submerged in water. She wore a flowing white dress tied with a red sash, if he wasn’t so surprised Jellal would have noticed that he thought she looked beautiful. She reached her hand out to him and he put his hand up to meet her palm. He jumped in astonishment when her slender fingers wrapped around his wrist and grabbed him tightly, starting to pull him in to the crystal.

He tried to pull away; convinced this was some kind of nightmare meant to punish him for his actions. But it was no use; she easily pulled him into through the semi-liquid barrier of the crystal, her expression never changing. “If it weren’t for you. I wouldn’t be dead.” Her voice said, carrying an ethereal echo. He frowned and met her sorrowful eyes, looking away quickly.

He let out a sob realizing that she was right. He felt tears begin to run down his cheeks and sobbed “I know. I’m so sorry for everything. I hurt you so much, I took advantage of you. And now you’re dead because of my cruelty.” She looked down at him as he apologized, with a knowing and agreeing expression.

“I know you can never forgive me. I stole years of your life away when you could have been living them how you wanted. And I know I can never repent for my sins against the others who helped build the tower. No one will admit it; they all know it was me not Zeref who was responsible. He may have possessed me, but I let him do it. It was no one’s fault but mine.” He sobbed, holding his face in his hands.

“Jellal.” Lilura’s voice said, softening and sounding like normal. He continued to sob and she said “Jellal, it is not your fault. You did nothing wrong, like so many others you were a victim of Zeref’s power. He took advantage of you when you were at your weakest. You are not responsible for his actions through you.” Her voice was kind and calm, like it was whenever she had comforted him when he was struggling to keep control of his own mind.

“Look at me.” She said softly, causing him to look up. She was smiling at him, floating in front of him instead of above him. “You don’t have to apologize, because I’m not angry or upset with you. I care about you enough that I willingly gave my life so you could live.” She put her hand gently on his cheek and smiled. “And I’m not dead, you went and saved me remember.” She said and suddenly they were standing in an open clearing in a large forest instead of floating in the crystal.

“You have to wake up now; you can’t stay here moping for the rest of your life. We have things to do, places to see, people to meet.” She smiled, kissing him quickly. His eyes widened and he looked stunned. She gave a small smirk “Motivation to wake up.” Her voice faded away, but he still heard many voices all calling the same thing “Wake up Jellal. Get up; you have to wake up now.”

Jellal opened his eyes slowly and found himself face to face with Erza. “Oh thank god you’re alright.” She let out a sigh of relief, pulling back away from him. “What happened?” He asked, confused as to why they were all worried. “Mira gave you too much magic painkiller; you’ve been completely unconscious for three days.” The red head explained. “Three days? It doesn’t feel like it.” He said as he sat up, glancing at Lilura. The woman was still unconscious but many of her bandages were gone, indicating some of her wounds had healed.

“She was awake a few times. She was pretty worried about you as well.” Erza said, noticing his look.  “How is she?” He groaned wincing from one of his injures. “She’s still too weak to stay awake?” He asked. “No, she’s sleeping right now. It’s almost midnight.” He looked embarrassed. “Then why are you still awake?”

She blushed a little “I just happened to be here, I was about to go home but thought I’d check on you first.” He gave a small smirk “Admit, you were worried about me.” She chuckled and mock punched his shoulder, though her mock punches were still quite painful. “Fine, I was worried about you.” He smiled and rubbed his shoulder a bit. She bit her lip “Sorry, I forget my own strength.” He chuckled and said “Go home Erza. I’ll see you in the morning.” She smiled and nodded, “Good night.” leaving the room.

Jellal waited a few minutes until he heard the front door lock and then carefully stood up, frowning from the pain. He limped to Lilura’s bed and looked down at her face. She had a small smile and sighed happily. He smiled a bit and then whispered “You shouldn’t forgive me. I don’t deserve it.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead before lying back down and falling asleep, exhausted from being in a drug induced state for days.
Erza walked back to Fairy hills thinking about what Lilura had said when she and Erza finally got a chance to talk.

Lilura’s eyes fluttered open and Erza came over quickly, crouching next to her sister’s bed. “Why would you do something like that? I’m not worth it.” The red head said, tears welling at her eyes. Lilura smiled weakly and put her hand on Erza’s cheek affectionately “Erza Morgana Scarlet, don’t you dare say that. You are more important to me than anything in this world. That is why I was ready to give up my life for yours at a moment’s notice. Because you mean that much to me.” Tears were running down both sisters’ faces. Erza closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep from crying. Lilura pulled Erza close to her and rested her forehead on her sisters.

“I’m so sorry I didn’t come to help you. If I had known I would have never left the tower.” Erza sobbed. “If you had come back he would have killed both of us. But I don’t want to think about the past. Let’s worry about the future. We have the rest of our lives to get to know each other.” Lilura smiled, pulling away and looking in her sister’s eyes. “I thought I lost you for good.” Erza said softly. “I promise that I will always come back.” Lilura said, hugging Erza tightly.

Erza let a tear slid down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. It may be a while before their lives was perfect but things were finally starting to look up for both Scarlet Sisters.

A week passed and no one in the guild was ever told what happened to Erza and the others to make them all so injured, nor were they told who the strangers were. Erza had healed the quickest of all of them; Natsu was better later that same day, having just been overly exhausted. Jellal wasn’t declared well enough to move until a few days later, since he was both injured and exhausted from his fight with Natsu. Lilura was by far the worst of all of them; she took both Jellal’s Altairis attack as well as the full force of the Etherion, both things that should have killed her instantly. She wasn’t allowed to move until a full three days after Jellal and Mira said that it was best if Lilura didn’t do much strenuous activity for at least two weeks.

Erza tried to convince Jellal and Lilura to leave the guild and let her show them around Magnolia, but they were adamantly against it. Jellal had a good reason though; people might mistake him for Siegrain and want to know what happened at the Magic Council. Lilura used the feeble excuse of needing to heal, though both of them knew that she was well enough to walk around.

Erza also noticed that the Jellal and Lilura seemed to be hiding something from her; she’d always see them whispering quietly to each other and casually stop when Erza came into the room. She was suspicious, but trusted her sister that she would keep Jellal on the right path away from darkness. She hoped that her trust was in the right place, she wouldn’t be able to handle it if they betrayed her.